A German friend of mine had an engine failure and landed in a field. He was just meditating on what had gone wrong when he heard a voice saying the fuel filter was blocked. He looked around and saw that he was being talked to by a horse. So he went to the nearest farm to borrow some tools and told the farmer who asked him what the horse looked like. He told the farmer that the horse was black and white and asked why he wanted to know. The farmer answered: `cos the brown one knows f***k all about aeroplanes.